We celebrated Valentine’s Day for the first two years of our marriage. After that, I went to my husband with an unusual proposal.
Let’s not do this anymore.
Why? I’m glad you asked.
My husband was already leading the way by his expressions of love & appreciation. It would still be a few years before I “caught up” and really learned how to speak his love language.
In spite of that,we both agreed that we desired our love to be intentional in word and deed 365 days a year.
Some ways we’ve done this over the past 15 years:
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Praying together on a weekly basis.
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Meaningful, heart conversations (my husband is an expert at this!). We share our dreams, fears, & concerns.
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Listening intentionally and giving the other undivided attention. This does pose a bit of a challenge for me when the younger children are around. I must temporarily turn off “Mommy Mode” (You know the urge to say: Put that down, Don’t touch that & Stop it! )
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Intimacy- at the risk of causing some of you to blush, I won’t elaborate on this point. You’re welcome.
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Date Nights- No babysitter? We were there once, and we just had to be creative. One anniversary we had a picnic style dinner in our family room after we put the children to bed.
Do we do this intentional love thing perfectly, everyday? I hope you know the answer is no. I hope as you read this, you realize that love like this is a process. And that’s exactly what it’s been for us.
Have we arrived, no. But we’re moving forward and that my friends is progress.
So when my husband says I love you, I know that he does. Not because he’s saying those three words that make my heart skip a beat. But because I’ve seen the action behind those words all year long.
Hello Tiffany,
Great read, I’m going to try and prose this ideal to the wife, NO MORE VALENTINES
If it backfires I’ll just tell her it was your ideal. lbvs
But I do understand the goal, which is to make everyday feel like valentine’s
Great Job
Hello Mike,
I appreciate you taking the time to comment and I don’t mind at all being the scapegoat for the proposition to your wife! 🙂
Missed this post but good point! I think sometimes Valentine’s Day is pushed on people and being forced to do things doesn’t always make it loving. We have a situation where one of my sons (my middle boy’s) birthday is the day before Valentine’s Day and my birthday is the day after, so I just told my husband we have tons of celebrating happening already, so don’t worry about it! And for him, his love language is acts of service so I know the best way to love him is work alongside of him and clean for him, cooking up yummy foods and baking something for him. It really is up to each couple what they want to do and what works. 🙂
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